Romanticizing Relationships

🥀 We often romanticize the people and experiences in our life. And I do not say this with a negative connotation, I believe we can romanticize in both healthy and unhealthy ways. If anything, romanticizing shows us how dedicated we are to seeing and believing that there is pure goodness to be found in someone. Often we have connected with the light in them, the same light that is in us and we're dedicated to seeing it through. We see them with rose colored glasses and tend to find reasonings for their shortcomings.

However, Love is a true art form and it deserves to be romanticized. True love creates a bond between two people that allows each one to love themselves more. On the other hand, romanticized relationships make us feel less love within ourselves. This is not to say we can't romanticize a relationship unless it is true love, but we must notice our own feelings in the relationship in order to determine if we are unhealthily romanticizing it. If we are in a relationship that makes us feel less than or unworthy then we are most likely romanticizing them or the relationship with them. Another indications of unhealthy romanticization includes constantly making excuses for someone and their behaviors. When we romanticize we become blind to the toxic and unhealthy behavior we are being shown. We set aside our own self worth to try to gain validation or acceptance from someone else. If you are in a relationship where you feel this way, you could very well be romanticizing this person or the relationship you have created.

If you think you are romanticizing a relationship then ask yourself, “Does this relationship and person make me feel worthy and accepted?” Is this person showing me the kind of love and affection that I would show myself?” Are they appreciating you as you are right now? Be honest. Journal on the questions.

Romanticizing can leave us continuously trying to find love and acceptance in someone who has clearly shown us that we won’t find what we’re looking for in them. But we are stubborn, we have painted a picture in our minds that this is the person we need and must have. We create this death grip on trying to control the outcome based on the idea of how things should be. In return, our energy is pulled into a toxic cycle of self sabotage. We begin to crave the validation of this person, we want them and we want them to want us. We even get to a point where we change who we are in order try to appease someone. But the truth is, no matter what you change you will never be right for the wrong person.

Every person we have a relationship with or encounter has something to teach us. Take the lesson and cut your losses because the longer you keep chasing what is not for you, the longer you put off what is. Much love, Brie 🤍